Growing Older Has Given Me Freedom

 

 

This is the week I finally took the full plunge into senior-hood and I’m still trying to accept the fact I have arrived at this point in my life. I had been considering for months when to start my Social Security retirement process rolling. It’s not a decision I jumped into lightly. For myself it’s a combination of many things, primarily health, finances, and of course age. My plan is to also keep working as long as I am able alongside my husband who is doing the same. 

To begin the process you fill out forms online. I thought it would be harder and even wished it, then in my normal fashion I would have tossed everything aside and put it off. It wasn’t difficult at all, and my husband having gone through it already gave me some direction. Now we wait for the next step and the Social Security office to contact me. Given the state of America being turned on its head I have no idea when that will happen.

Even if you live under a rock you still can’t escape the current chaos living here in the states. We reside in a small town where everything closes by 9 pm but the craziness is here too. Turn on the television, pick up your device, visiting a neighbor, the conversation is all about politics and it goes on and on. I have never felt this level of anxiety over current events and it gets overwhelming especially as an older adult. 

As a child I had a safe spot at home, that hide-away you go to when you want to be left alone. My adult safe space has inadvertently become our tiny bathroom. It’s dark, quiet, and it’s the only spot nobody follows me into. I know most moms of young children will get what I’m talking about. In a home with limited area full of adults there just is no other room to retreat to when I need my time out and a bit of peace. We all need to have somewhere to remove ourselves to in order to regroup. 

 

Driving out to do our shopping and other errands was an obstacle course of protests and detours due to the masses. It’s a tiny college town but the people are mighty. In my younger years maybe I’d have joined them. In support while driving by we acknowledged them by honking the car horn like many. Today was a day I just needed a bit of normal. Nothing has been normal anywhere since the presidential election last fall, and the two candidates to choose from were both ridiculous in my book.

All the political frenzy aside, life does go on and needs to. There are still jobs to go to, shopping to be done, and bills to be paid. On this day we told each other we would live in the moment and enjoy some retail therapy. Now that spring is here I’m switching up our diets to be healthier. In the next 5 months we will have access to local grown produce, along with fresh fish. 

I miss growing our own food. We still grow seasonal tomatoes and squash, not just because we like it but it also seems safe from the resident woodland critters. My husband is planning on putting in potatoes this year for the fun of it. We grew them years ago, the difference in taste compared to store bought was amazing. Don’t ever think if you’re an apartment dweller that you can’t grow your own vegetables. 

We have neighbors who successfully grow most of theirs solely in 5 gallon pickle buckets just across the street. They grow corn, green beans, tomatoes, lettuce, broccoli, and more in this manner. One year they had 6 buckets in a row filled with tall corn stalks. The only problem they faced was in the middle of the night during Covid lock down someone managed to steal 3 of them. 

When putting in a combination of hobby gardens we love a variety of color. Some like to keep things uniform and tidy but we go all out with plant and flower variations. I love growing bright colored blooms as much as I do photographing them. It’s still too early in the season to plant, May is the ideal month. The stores are just now turning out early plants to anyone tempted to buy them. 

My next order of business in the week was the annual trip for a scan women don’t care for. Luckily the hospital imaging is located a few blocks away and offers Saturday morning appointments. It’s a small time window of anxiety and uncomfortable but the reward could be your life. Both my husband and myself have lost family to breast cancer. 

The multi level parking garage is not my favorite place to be usually but on this Saturday morning it was barren of both cars and traffic except for myself and three others. The emptiness and silence of it was noticeable, and because I’m a photographer I decided to capture the moment as I stood there. Weird?, maybe. 

Walking into the hospital lobby was similar. There was not a soul in sight except one greeter at the information desk. I’d been here many times and never experienced the whole building so empty, it was a bit creepy but I was glad to be able to get in and then out. I often arrive to an appointment early and get taken in if it’s quiet. My arrival time was 9:50 am for a 10:30 scan. I am happy to report I was in and out and back home by 10:30. “Done and dusted” as my grandfather used to say, and the dirty deed was over until next year.

I adopted a vegetable and protein diet years ago after surviving a full 9 months of severe abdomen pain that turned out to be a gallstone lodged in a liver duct. It’s actually quite frequent and two individuals I know have gone through it since. I’m glad to be rid of the gallbladder. The experience fine tuned me to pay better attention to my body. Add age to it and the quirks of having to adjust to the fact your gastrointestinal system will stop tolerating certain foods you were accustomed to eating. I’m at the point in life I can no longer partake of anything fatty or dairy related without circumstances. The health related dietary lessons I am still learning in my 60’s are ongoing. 

I do all of my cooking with olive oil or sesame oil. Gone are my days of copying what I was taught in my early years. As a young woman I used to use butter or lard, eat pretty much anything, and never give a second thought to pizza, treats of ice cream, or cakes. Now I avoid man made sugar as much as possible. Years ago an oncologist I met in Boston warned me that cancer feeds on glucose and it stuck with me. I am no pro at eating healthy but I do make it a daily goal. 

Plating dinner looks pretty and it’s healthy but I would be lying if I said it doesn’t get boring. To try and spice things up (not literally of course) I have added numerous other Asiatic and Mediterranean style recipes to our diet. My doctor once told me, “if it comes in a box or packet don’t eat it.” In my cooking experience I have found it primarily true. She was referring to processed foods. Do we cheat here and there well of course but not often. The goal now is health and longevity. You wouldn’t put the wrong fuel in your vehicle, food for thought.

My next order of business is to lessen my hand burden. While phones are a convenience they also are getting too heavy. A bigger screen is great for my older eyes but the weight of the phone has to go. My first phone was a tiny Nokia that I couldn’t kill and weighed nothing. Name brand and bigger screen sounds nice but it’s expensive and nearly rendered me unable to use my left hand from pain alone after just weeks. My hand needs to last me until my end days, no fancy phone can do that. I have since switched to a less expensive lighter weight Android alternate.

My birthday is on the horizon. Though I’m no longer youthful in appearance, I have gained wisdom. I have no regrets in life, only lessons. Aging isn’t something to be feared or scorned. Growing older has afforded me freedoms I never knew possible. I try and make the most of every day. I judge less and try to understand more.

Having the ability to accept people as they are has greatly improved my life and others I interact with. I wasn’t always this way, nor do I know how or why it came to be. I’m now kinder, but also more direct. My husband is of the same mindset. Maybe it’s like that internet meme stating “old people are just tired of everyone’s shit.” Being your authentic self goes a long way. Not everyone will like you or appreciate you and that’s okay.

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